Fatigue & exhaustion | Featured | Maternal health | Postnatal depletion | Surviving Broken Sleep

How to Survive Broken Sleep: Reverse Engineering Your Sleep Survival Plan

Sep 11, 2023 | 0 comments

All too often, the first time a mother reaches out to me for help with broken sleep is when she is at the end of her tether and completely burnt out. After many months or even years of trying to run the marathon that is caring for a baby with low sleep needs, her tank is empty and she is exhausted and depleted.

But I wish it wasn’t this way. I wish more mothers knew that there are many, many options available to them when it comes to supporting their own health and wellbeing through the storm of broken sleep, which can help to prevent ending up burnt out.

The message we’re given as mothers around baby sleep is that the only thing we can do in these times is focus on or change our baby’s sleep, with little to no emphasis on the things we can do to support ourselves. But this simply isn’t true.

This blog is all about reversing this message and giving you the tools & knowledge to fill up your sleep-survival toolkit from the very start.

Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is for your personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. It should not be considered as medical or professional advice. We recommend you consult with a GP or other healthcare professional before taking or omitting to take any action based on this blog. While the author uses best endeavours to provide accurate and true content, the author makes no guarantees or promises and assumes no liability regarding the accuracy, reliability or completeness of the information presented. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this blog are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this blog is done at your own risk.

How to survive broken sleep

While there is no one-size-fits-all solution for coping with sleep deprivation, understanding how broken sleep impacts our health and well-being is the first step towards creating an effective survival plan.

Sleep research has shed light on the ways in which interrupted sleep can affect our physical and mental health. By reverse engineering our approach based on these insights, alongside the ways in which I routinely see broken sleep impacting the wellbeing of the mothers I support in my clinic, we can develop strategies that will benefit most parents caring for a wakeful baby.

Some of these impacts include:

Changes to mood and cognitive function
Hormone disruptions
Low energy levels
Immune system impairment
Digestive changes
Metabolic shifts and blood sugar dysregulation
Circadian rhythm disruption

Below we’ll explore the most important and impactful steps to helping you navigate this season of motherhood.

Step 1: Protect your sleep quality

While it’s true that caring for a wakeful baby can significantly impact the quantity of sleep you get, there are still steps you can take to protect and even improve the quality of the sleep you are getting.

As the name suggests, sleep quality is not just about the number of hours you sleep but how restful and deep that sleep is, which includes things like sleep architecture or the stages of sleep you move through across the night.

Here are some ways we can work on protecting sleep quality:

Have an evening wind-down routine with sleep hygiene practices to support sleep
Be mindful of your caffeine consumption during the day
Go to bed earlier to maximise the window of opportunity for sleep
Find flexible and creative night time arrangements that work for your family so you can get more sleep

Step 2: Support good blood sugar control

One of the most significant physical impacts we see with sleep deprivation is altered blood sugar control. It can wreak havoc on your body’s ability to effectively regulate blood sugar and your cells become more insulin resistant, making it harder for your body to use glucose effectively. These changes also impact your appetite and cravings for certain foods, often resulting in choices that unfortunately perpetuate the issue (i.e. high sugar or high carbohydrate foods that will give a quick energy release and correct dysregulated glucose levels). Over time, all of this can lead to issues with energy, mood, appetite control and cravings, cognitive function, and much more.

To counteract this impact, we can focus on the things that support stable blood sugar levels, such as:

Prioritising protein and eating enough protein overall across the day (see this blog for more: My #1 Nutrition Tip for Tired Mums)
Avoid naked carbs – avoid eating carbohydrate-rich foods on their own without protein, fat, or fibre
Avoid skipping meals
Don’t drink coffee before breakfast

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Step 3: Regulate your circadian rhythm

Frequent night wakings can play tricks on your body’s internal clock, aka your circadian rhythm, causing it to shift or become dysregulated. This can lead to a cascade of issues since many of your body’s essential functions are influenced by the day/night cycle, including energy levels, cognition, digestion, and hormone levels.

To help regulate your circadian rhythm even amidst interrupted sleep, consider these strategies:

Prioritise morning sunlight exposure within the first hour after waking
Limit caffeine after midday
Reduce blue light exposure before bed and throughout the night with any wakeups
Establish a regular bedtime and wake up time
Maintain regular meal times and avoid skipping meals

Step 4: Nourish your nervous system & mind

Your nervous system plays a crucial role in how your body responds to the chronic stress of broken sleep and typically it will get pushed into the sympathetic state too much of the time under these demands, especially when the body is unsupported in all the other ways discussed in this blog.

The sympathetic nervous system is the branch of our autonomic nervous system that is also knowns as the “fight or flight” mode, or the response we have to threats, danger, and stress. This heightened state of stimulation and activation can have far-reaching effects on your physical and mental well-being. To counteract the stress and time spent in fight-or-flight mode, the goal is to support the nervous system to spend more time in parasympathetic mode (aka rest-and-digest mode) to facilitate rest and relaxation.

To support your nervous system through this challenging time, consider the following strategies:

Build a toolkit of techniques and strategies that help you to self-regulate your nervous system to come down out of fight-or-flight and into a calm and relaxed state, e.g. breathing exercises, vagal nerve activities, or mindfulness techniques
Prioritise rest beyond sleep
Practice self-compassion and consider the role of mindset in helping you to navigate the emotionally challenging
Lighten or share more of your mental load to allow more space for rest and nervous system relaxation. An overwhelming mental load is a huge source of stress for many mothers

Step 5: Rebuild & protect your energy

Of course, any discussion about surviving broken sleep needs to have a strong focus on energy levels since suffering through broken sleep can lead to unrelenting fatigue and exhaustion. This can impact your physical & mental wellbeing in a variety of ways, and aside from the drudging feeling of dragging yourself through yet another exhausted day without enough sleep perhaps one of the most important ways fatigue affects us in motherhood is the joy it can steal from your experience of being a mother.

To add, once you’re feeling exhausted, your motivation and ability to prioritise simple self-care acts can become increasingly impaired and self-care starts to drop off, only adds to the demands on your mind and body in this season.

To support your energy, consider the following steps:

Identify and address any other underlying causes for low energy or fatigue such as nutrient deficiencies or hormone imbalances, among other things (see this blog here: 5 blood tests every tired mum needs)
Prioritise rest in other ways beyond sleep – sleep is only one way that our body can rest and restore (an important way, of course, but not the only one)
Focus on building energising meals & snacks that support your blood sugar (see Step 2 above) and provide nutrients required for energy-production systems in the body
Consider the role the following energy-depleting factors might be playing for you and do what you can to reduce or avoid them: overconsuming caffeine, over exercising, going to bed too late, having loose boundaries, skipping meals, undereating, self-criticism and/or perfectionism

Next steps & more support

My hope is this mini-guide will give you the starting the tools and knowledge to be able to support yourself through the difficult ride that is ongoing sleep deprivation and avoid complete burnout.

But knowing the best place to begin for you specifically can overwhelming, especially if you’re right in the middle of the exhaustion and depletion of broken sleep. Reflect on whether any of the above steps stand out as areas that require more nurturing for you – these will be the most important places to begin.

If you feel like all areas require support, consider what, if any, steps feel most approachable and doable for you right now in light of the energy, time, and support you have available to you.

If you want more specific support, I can help guide you to make a plan that is personalised and prioritises what the most important steps are for you to have the biggest impact on your wellbeing and so that your time & energy is used as wisely as possible.

You can see the ways I can support you and we can work together here.

Georgie xx